


You can't be free, 'cause I'm selfish, I'm obscene

by xKobra_Kid



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: A little bit of fluff, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, I Tried, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Please Don't Hate Me, Tyler is a doctor, What Have I Done, brallon smut, josh is scared, not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:35:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7357798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xKobra_Kid/pseuds/xKobra_Kid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You can't”, this was his first thought, “you can't”, but after few seconds he realized that the man could. </p>
<p>He was afraid, scared and his broken bones hurt so much that he wanted to scream, but no one would heard him. He was in a basement, alone with an unknown man and his head was telling him to sleep, to give up, to take what the man was going to do to him. And that hurt, his heart was racing in his chest because of the fear and he didn’t want to open his eyes. Usually he didn’t care, he had preferred to keep them open during that, but this time was different, and he knew it. He felt his heart stop, well metaphorically, and the sweat was running down his forehead. He was freezing and he didn’t know where his clothes were; probably they had taken them away. He was almost naked and he didn’t like it, he wanted his t-shirt back. </p>
<p>Then, his mind went blurry and he fell down, hitting his chest and the left side of his head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>  <em>Did you really believe that you were free? </em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mr. Huge Smiles and Red Cheeks

**Author's Note:**

> So, here I am, again, and this time I have a shitty fan-fic with me. I'm still scared about this because I care what you think about this first chapter. Let me say that I didn't want to post this fan-fic, but I found a lot of courage and here I am.
> 
> Well, if you find mistakes, can you please tell me where they are? As I said, English is not my first lenguage.
> 
> Also, I've already finished this fan-fic and if you want you can send me prompts on Tumblr <http://the-motionless-protest.tumblr.com/>

“ _You can’t_ ”, this was his first thought, “ _you can’t_.”, but after few seconds he realized that the man could. 

He was afraid, scared and his broken bones hurt so much that he wanted to scream, but no one would heard him. He was in a basement, alone with an unknown man and his head was telling him to sleep, to give up, to take what the man was going to do to him. And that hurt, his heart was racing in his chest because of the fear and he didn’t want to open his eyes. Usually he didn’t care, he had preferred to keep them open during  _that_ , but this time was different, and he knew it. He felt his heart stop, well metaphorically, and the sweat was running down his forehead. He was freezing and he didn’t know where his clothes were; probably  _they_ had taken them away. He was almost naked and he didn’t like it, he wanted his t-shirt back. 

The most of the times, when he had been underage,  _they_ let him use clothes. But he had turned eighteen two days before and his warm t-shirt, his trousers and his socks were gone; he felt so vulnerable and he wanted to cry but he couldn’t.  _They_ would beaten the shit out of him. A tear ran down on his left cheek and a sob left his mouth. He curled himself against the wall behind him, his head between his knees. He didn’t mean to cry, he didn’t, therefore he mumbled some apologises and begged the man to forgive him. “ _I’ll be good sir, sorry sir_ ”, he whispered this phrases several times, sobbing, shaking and biting his lower lip. Now he was more afraid and terrified because he knew that he was in big troubles. 

“It’s okay to cry.”, the man said, smiling warmly. Josh didn’t see that, “Can you stand up, please? We need to take you to our local hospital.”, he touched his shoulder and a gasp broke the silence.

“What’s a hospital?”

“Come with me, you’ll find out what it is.”, Josh blinked, he rose his head and stared at the man, “Do you have clothes?”, he shook his head, “You can wear this,”, the man gave him a white coat, “at least it’s warm.”, he smiled sadly and looked at the guy, who was trying to put his hand trough the sleeve. He asked himself if the boy had ever been at school. 

“Thanks.”, Josh kept his eyes low, feeling his breath burning in his throat.

“Stand up please.”, he tried to but he collapsed, hitting his ribs and moaning because of the pain, “Wait, let me help you. Here, grab my arm”, Josh did as the man said, “yeah, just a little bit tighter, now try to stand up slowly. First your left leg, then the other.”, Josh held onto the young man, he stared at him and he saw his smile became bigger, “Good, now we’ll walk slowly until we’ll be out of here and then you’re going to our hospital.”

Josh nodded but his head was heavy and his feet weren’t make for walk- he thought so because they had told him that- but he tried hard and when the cold hair of the night hit him, he looked at the sky, feeling his sling being colder. Then, his mind went blurry and he fell down, hitting his chest and the left side of his head.

_Did you really believe that you were free?_

_*_

When he woke up he felt an annoying “beep” in his ears. He didn’t like it, it was too loud and he couldn’t think. He could just open his eyes, there was a bright light in the room and he felt something, something warm, brushing against his skin. He liked that and he decided to open his eyelids. He was in a bed, there was a big piece of warm and soft cloth on him; near his right side there was a chair with a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. He gulped when he saw a big screen at his left, the annoying beep was made by that and he closed his eyes, pressing his hands on his ears.

He wanted that to stop.

There was a big window and he could see a tree near his room, he liked it and he reached a hand, trying to touch the leaves, but he remembered that he couldn’t because he was stuck into the room. He looked at the ceiling and sighed; the mattress was hurting his back. He touched his chest, his arm and he felt something in it. He looked down and he panicked, trying to remove that damn thing but he ended with hurting himself more and more. He sobbed loudly and mumbled. Then he started to shake, what if  _they_ were looking at him? He started to whisper “ _I’m sorry_ ” while he was curled under the piece of cloth, with tears in his eyes.

“So you are awake.”, someone said out loud, making Josh shaking more and more, “Come out, no one’s gonna hurt you.”, the man said sweetly, removing the blanket and stared at Josh, “I’m Brendon and I’m a doctor.”

“Yesterday, young man.”, he whispered hiding his face with his hands, “Young man with white coat.”

“You mean Tyler, don’t you?”, Josh repeated the name quickly, “He’ll be here soon.”, Josh sighed and looked at the tree, “Can you please lay on your back?”, Brendon watched Josh’s tears ran down his face, he caressed his arm and Josh sobbed, mumbling and shaking. He had to test him so he tried to push him gently on his back and when the boy went quiet he felt a strange sensation in the air. He waved his hand and Josh flinched, “You’re safe here, okay? You’re safe, Josh.”, he sat down next to him and stared at his head, “What date is today?”, Josh shrugged, “How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”, he looked out of the window, “Tyler. Soon here?”, the doctor nodded, “Why?”

“He’s a doctor too, a psychologist.”

“ _They_ , where are _they_?”, he asked with his eyes full of fear, “Home?”

“Mr. Staedtler and Mr. Spriggs are in jail.”, Brendon said carefully. He hoped that Tyler would have been there.

“Home?”, Josh said quietly.

“Soon, Josh, soon.”

“And Tyler?”

Brendon didn’t answered, it was too much, too much. He had worked in to SANE for ages, he had seen a lot of shit, mountains of it. But that case was too much. He realized that the boy could barely talk because no one had taught him how. He couldn’t look at him, like the most of the victims, but he had ignored the pain of his broken ribs and he had curled himself tightly, with his face pressed against his hands. When he had touched his shoulders he had sobbed and flinched, but then he had looked away, zoning out; probably it was an habit. Brendon stood up when Tyler walked into the room followed by a nurse, he said goodbye to Josh and locked his eyes with Tyler, who nodded smiling sadly. At least, for two hours he was going to be free.

He was sitting in a big chair when Tyler entered in to the room. Brendon yawned tiredly and crossed his arms on his chest. He wanted to ask how the meeting had gone, but from the light in Tyler’s eyes he knew that a lot of thing had came out. He let the armchair to him and nodded in silence, humming along the song on the radio and massaging his temples with his thumbs. He was so tired and stressed out, but he had to go back to Josh because the exams were important.

“Can you wait a minute?”, Tyler mumbled yawning and rubbing his eyes, “Did you talk to him?”, Brendon shook his head and sat down again, “I hope the police will wait. This isn’t the right moment, probably it will take months, years.” 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, c’mon, he can barely use words. It’s hard to talk with him, he listens but doesn’t speak. And this is frustrating.”, Brendon nodded and Tyler sighed, “Seventeen years in a damn basement. It’s obvious that he was...”

“Don’t say that!”, Tyler looked at him silently, “We all know what happened. We all know.”, Brendon stared at the parking lot through the windows, “He asked about you before, I don’t know why.”

“I know. He told me that, well kinda.”, Tyler stood up and looked at Brendon, “Are you okay?”, Brendon shrugged, he bit his fingernails and closed his eyes, sighing heavily, “You can do the tests tomorrow. Your shift is over, though.” 

They said goodbye to each other and Tyler stared at the clock. His conversation with Josh was in his mind, he didn’t know why but that case was different. Usually he had talked with his patients without emotions, he had just asked and nodded, zoning out and trying to avoid the pity and the “ _Oh dear, I’m sorry_ ” that was constantly in his brain. But Josh was so small, so alone that he saw himself in him; he remembered when, during high school, he had been bullied and left alone. Just Brendon had been around him, they had been friends for almost twelve years and he was happy about their friendship: not too sweet but full of positive emotions. 

With Josh, during their two hours of “conversation”, he understood that he had been living in that basement for all of his life. No school, no friends, no mom, no dad, no sibling, no love, nothing. Just two men with “ _huge hands and dark eyes_ ”. He didn’t even know their names, for him they were “sir and sir”. He didn’t remember his mother, he just knew that he had been in that basement for his whole life. Sometimes he had been allowed to go in the small garden behind the house, there he had played with the flowers for a hour, no more no less. The “bad man” had taught him how to be a “good boy”, and words hadn’t been useful for him and he couldn’t talk fluently or with a complete dictionary. Seventeen years in that cold place, seventeen years alone with those men, when Tyler had asked him if they “played” on the bed he said that they had done it every day. 

Tyler felt sick, he rubbed his face and stood up. He walked slowly out of the hospital and sighed heavily. He wanted to scream and to kick something because he had let the emotions win, he let his heart deciding what do. He had allowed himself to say “ _Oh Josh, I’m so sorry_ ” so many times that he had lost count; that was unprofessional and immoral. He was a damn doctor, not a friend or whatever. He let a groan escape from his mouth and a nurse near him looked at him.  _Great, now she thinks that I’m fucking mental,_ he sighed and opened his car, sitting down and pressing his forehead against the steering wheel. 

_Did you really believe that you would have been able to be professional with him?_

*

Josh was lying in bed, the blanket- as Tyler had said- was so warm that he spent the whole night rubbing it. Under his fingers it was soft, he liked it really much. He had talked with Dr. Joseph for a lot of time, he enjoyed it because he learned a lot of new words, but he didn’t understand why the psychiatrist had been so sorry for him. He knew that his life was a mess, but usually people had laughed at that or  _they_ had been more cruel. He hadn’t told Tyler that, he had been too focused on the blanket and on the needle inside his arm. He had asked him to remove it, but the psychiatrist had said no because he needed to eat and his stomach was too delicate at the moment. 

He sighed and looked at the tree, the leaves were moving because of the wind and he remembered when he had caught a cold and Mr. Spriggs had been so mad. Now, as Dr. Joseph told him several times, he was free. He didn’t understand that word but he hadn’t asked because he had been too afraid to piss him off, even if Tyler was just “Mr. Huge Smile and Red Cheeks”. 

He liked that place and the bed was better than the floor. He smiled at the nurse near him and he saw him smile back. The smile wasn’t like Tyler’s but it was a smile and Josh understood that he was okay, that he could let go. He started to cry after few seconds, this time he wasn’t afraid and he didn’t think that Mr. Staedtler and Mr Spriggs would have beaten him because  _they were gone_ . Tyler told him so. The nurse looked at him with concerned eyes, seeing patients crying was normal there but the boy’s sobs were so loud and deep that they hurt him. He closed gingerly the curtains and stared at the guy, biting one of his fingernails and he gulped when he heard a louder noise and a moan, then a lot of sobs escaped from his mouth. 

“Don’t worry, everything will be better.” 

Josh went silent, he sniffed and blinked: “Why?”

“Because there are a lot of people like you here and a lot of people are here for helping you.”

“You?”

“Yeah, me too, but Dr. Urie and Dr. Joseph are more important.”, Josh bit his bottom lip, he nodded and watched the nurse smile warmly, “I’m Dallon.”

Josh sniffed one more time, then he nodded and closed his eyes, falling asleep with a small smile on his face. Dallon left the room and he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, he was too busy with his thoughts to pay attention to it. His work was precious for him, he loved it and he cared about it because, there, he had met awesome people and the love of his life, even if he didn’t talk to him. Yeah, he was the love of his life, he had fallen in love with him on his first day but he was too afraid to talk with him.

He sighed heavily thinking about him, he was so tired that he fell asleep on the small armchair in the small living room. He didn’t mean to, but his head hurt and his bones were numb. He let out a small moan when he sat down, he smiled and rubbed his face against the soft cloth; it was so comfortable under him that he closed his eyes, sleeping heavily for almost two hours. When he woke up, he yawned loudly and he stood up, looking around the room. He was alone and he left the room, knowing that his shift had ended three hours ago. He passed the new boy’s room and he heard a sob, Dallon stopped his moves and looked in the room, seeing the guy in his bed. He was having a nightmare, probably, but Dallon couldn’t do too much because he didn’t know what do. 

He left the hospital as soon as possible and he ran in to the car, hiding behind the steering wheel. It was a rough day: three new patients, one of them was almost dead because his husband had beaten her with an iron; he had had to take care of a lot of things because there were just four nurses; a girl had thrown a fork at him and he had fallen down, trying to run away from her. He had ended the day with an awful coffee from the vending machine.

Fortunately he was at home in few minutes. He opened the door of his empty flat and he walked slowly, undressing him during his steps until he was just wearing his boxers. He jumped into bed and pressed his face on the pillow. He fell asleep in few seconds.

*

Josh woke up, he felt some drops of sweat ran down his forehead. He held his breath when he found out that he wasn’t in the basement, he was lying on something soft and warm, his back wasn’t aching anymore. He remembered that he was in a hospital, he remembered the nurse and the two doctors: it wasn’t just a dream, he was finally out of that damn basement. He sighed and pressed his head onto the pillow, he smiled shyly because he was scared that someone could have seen him. 

The curtains were closed and he didn’t like that, he wanted to look out the window, he wanted to see the night because he never did. He wasn’t allowed to stay out during the night, but now he wasn’t with them and he knew that. He wasn’t there because someone had helped him, now them were in jail and he could go on. He scratched his left wrist and felt a scar around it, he knew that the scar had been created by that damn pair of handcuffs.

He closed his eyes and held tightly his wrist, he was ashamed because of the scars on his body, he hated them so much, even when he was in the basement he didn’t look at them. He sighed heavily and he yawned, he thought for one last time of Tyler, Brendon and Dallon, because they cared about him, he felt loved and he thanked mentally Tyler, because during their conversation he had said a lot of “I’m sorry, Josh I’m so sorry” that had made his heart racing in his chest. He was the first person who was worried for him, for his life and for his past. He had been happy when he had heard those words because he had loved them pronounced by Tyler’s voice. 

*

Tyler woke up hearing the first notes of “All Star” by “Smash Mouth”. It was an awful song but it was great as reveille. He rubbed his face after groaning loudly, he didn’t want to go to work, he wanted to curl himself under the sheets and sleeping for the next four hours. But he couldn’t, so he stood up cursing his shifts for the weeks, Brendon and his damn need of him around during work- because if he had to wake up at 5 a.m. it was only Brendon’s fault. He walked slowly into the bathroom, he washed his face with cold water and he dressed up quickly, running in the kitchen trying to be punctual. 

He finished is coffee at the hospital, he was breathless because he had ran through the corridors and when he had arrived near the changing room, he had found Brendon almost naked, while he had been talking to the phone. Tyler stayed quiet, he held his breath and he tried not to pant. He looked at his friend with a cocked eyebrow, Brendon shrugged and bit his nails, nodding and whispering at the phone. Tyler didn’t hear because he had his headphones in his ear, but when he noticed that he removed them and sighed. He stared at his clothes in his locker and then he watched Brendon smiling and he walked out. 

“Dr. Joseph, please wait!”, he stopped and he saw a nurse, a male nurse, running, “Thanks. I have to talk to you about the new patient.”

“Which one?”, Tyler scratched his hair.

“The one in the 304.”, the nurse said quickly, “Tonight he was crying and I’ve noticed that you didn’t give him any sleeping pill or anything else apart painkillers, so I was wondering if-”

“I’ll deal with this, thank you for the information. I’ll talk to Dr. Urie about this and we’ll figure something out.”, Tyler smiled warmly at the nurse and he smiled back, nodding.

“Tell me what?”, Brendon appeared without making sounds.

“Good morning, Dr. Urie.”, the nurse mumbled with pink cheeks, “I’ve just told to Dr. Joseph that tonight the patient in the 304 had a breakdown.”, he said that with a soft voice, keeping his eyes low and his bottom lip between his teeth. 

“Oh thank you, Dallon, thank you.”, Brendon smiled at him, catching him blushing and babbling some words, “Well, our shifts begin now so see you at lunch, bye.”, he waved his left hands, blushing, and the nurse did the same, running away after few seconds.

“Brendon what-”

“Just shut up!”, he started to walk quickly to Josh’s room, “We’ll talk about this later.” 

Tyler shrugged and opened the door of the room, he smiled at Josh warmly and Brendon started to read his medical records, cocking an eyebrow when he heard Tyler asking him how he was feeling. Brendon smiled and shook his head, he wrote down a list of Josh’s meds and then he stared at the patient. Josh seemed more comfortable but when he tried to approach him Josh gasped and looked down, starting to breath quickly and trying to hold the tears. Tyler shook his head and Brendon stepped back, apologizing. 

*

Dallon was breathing heavily, he was hiding in a closet full of medicine and medical things. He rubbed his face with his hands and he pressed it against the wall, groaning and cursing. Of course with Tyler Joseph there would have been Brendon Urie, of course, but he was too dumb to think about it. He felt his cheeks burning and he slammed a foot on the ground like a child, he hated his life, he hated his emotions and he hated Brendon, he hated to blush, to smile stupidly and to giggle like an idiot. 

Someone knocked at the door, Dallon tried to recompose himself and opened the door, grabbing some medicines from the shelves. He said good morning to the other nurse and he ran away, he looked at the clock seeing that it was almost lunch time. He enjoyed his lunch break because he always sat alone, near the window with a plate of hot food, mostly vegetables, and a bottle of mineral water. Usually he sat with his headphones in his ears because he wanted to relax, but that day he had forgotten them at home, he had to listen to the murmuring in the room. He had just started to eat a piece of pepperoni when someone sat down in front of him. He cocked his left eyebrow and looked at the man, choking with the food.

“Can I sit here? It’s the only free table.”, Tyler asked with a smile, starting to eat slowly, “Uhm, Brendon will be here soon, do you mind?”, Dallon shook his head, “Good, good.”

After few minutes the other doctor ran at Dallon’s table, he looked at Tyler angrily but the psychiatrist scrolled his shoulders and Brendon cursed softly. He smiled at Dallon and sat down next to his friend, he bumped their elbows together and Joseph sighed, he looked at Dallon and he saw him blushing when Brendon did the same. He kicked his friend’s leg under the table and Brendon smirked at him and the nurse blushed more and more, closing his eyelids and letting out a deep breath. Tyler was focused on his meal, Brendon was trying to chat with Dallon and Dallon was avoiding his eyes, playing with the food in his plate. Brendon let out a groan when he sniffed a piece of meat, it was disgusting. 

“Ah, man I can’t stand this shit.”, Tyler rolled his eyes and he took another fork of salad, “How could you two eat that?”

“We didn’t take meat, it sucks and everyone knows. You could have pick just the vegetables and the fruit, like us.”, Dallon spoke with a soft voice but he gulped after his sentences, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be sassy, sorry.”

“Ugh, you don’t know but Brendon is sassier than you.”, Tyler mumbled typing quickly on his phone’s screen.

“First of all-”

“Drop it Bren, we all know that’s true.”, he sat up in a classy way and he took his tray, he smiled at the other two, “Gentlemen it was a pleasure, but I have to go to talk with Josh, see you later.”, he walked away and he saw Brendon looking at him, almost scared and almost excited. He knew that it was a bastard move but Brendon was too dumb to do something with Dallon and he didn’t want to hear anymore “He’s so classy” from him. They could be friend and he could finally restart to live without Brendon’s whiny voice.


	2. Only Fools Fall For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone my name's Tyler Oakley! I'm kidding, so good morning, afternoon, evening or night. Hope you're doing fine, surely better than me.  
> Well, well, I'm a kinky bitch for the Brallon thing, forgive me. Also, angst- just a bit- with Tyler and Josh, mostly Tyler to be honest.  
> As I said, you can leave a comment and if you catch a mistake, can you please tell me that? I'd like to be grammatically correct, y'know.  
> Hope you'll enjoy this lil chapter!

Two months passed quickly, Josh had been transferred in a “house for victims of rape”, as Tyler said. He had understood that words after a month in the House. There he had met a lot of people: Melanie, who had lost his whole family before _that_ ; Lori, whose left part of her body was immobilized; Robin and her burned face because her boyfriend had tried to burn her; Caroline and her short hair, her large clothes; Max, who was one of the few boys in the house. 

Sometimes Tyler went into the house and he talked with Josh for hours, he still was his therapist and Josh knew that. Tyler helped him when he found out that, the two man, had killed his family, his whole damn family. Josh had been crying for three hours, his eyes were swollen and his cheeks were wet even if Tyler dried them with a tissue, stroking his back sweetly. Josh knew that he was a good man, he knew that, but when he felt Tyler’s hands on his back he flinched and started to cry again, sobbing loudly. Tyler’s heart broke in that moment, when Josh looked at him with scared eyes, whispering “I’m sorry” between his sobs. He hated it, he hated what those men had done to him. They ruined his life. 

He heard Josh being quiet: “Are you okay?”, he asked trying to caress his shoulders and Josh let him do that, “I don’t know how you are feeling right now, but I know that it was hard living for seventeen years with them. I know that you are scared, I know that you are sad, I know that you have a lot of questions for them, I know.”, Josh sobbed quietly, he put his head on Tyler’s shoulders and he closed his eyes, “But now you have to understand that I’m here for you.  I want to be your friend and Brendon too.”

“Why do he want to?”

“Does, he does.”, he smiled and Josh bit his bottom lip, “It’s just a mistake, don’t worry it happens.”

“W-why does he want to be friend with me?”

“Because he cares. A lot of people care about you.”, Josh looked at him with sleepy eyes, asking him silently the same question, “I want to be your friend because you are very important to me.” 

“So I’m yours.”

Tyler shuddered: “No, I do not own you!”, Josh closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against his neck, “You are my friend, but I don’t own you, no one owns you, Josh, no one.”

“You do.”, he murmured softly.

“Josh I-”

“ _You do_.”

Tyler shook his head and Josh frowned: “Owing a person isn’t okay, those bastards owned you and I _do not_ want to be like them, so I don’t. We’re friends, I have no rights to decide for you, to oblige you to do something, to force you.”, he pressed his lips on his hair and Josh muttered happily, “We’re friends, Josh, we’re friends and I’d like you to understand that you can trust me.”, he looked at him and he stood up slowly, “I have to go now, I’ll be here tomorrow with Brendon, okay?”

“Don’t go.”, he tugged his sleeve and Tyler smiled, “Two more minutes. Please?”

“I can’t, I have to go to work.”, Josh nodded and smiled, “See you tomorrow, Josh.”

*

Brendon was sat in front of Dallon, they were talking about work and he was focused on Dallon’s lips. They were thin, his bottom lip seemed soft and the upper had a perfect Cupid’s bow; Brendon imagined to touch it and he hoped that Dallon didn’t notice his silly face. In that moment he wanted to kiss him but he couldn’t because they were friends. Good friends. In two months they bonded and Brendon was happy, even if he didn’t get what he truly wanted; at least now they talked.

Dallon, on his side, was trying to talk normally and he tried to think about something great, something interesting because Brendon seemed bored. His eyelids fluttered sweetly and his eyes were fixed on his chin, his hands were playing with the food while he nodded silently. Dallon smiled because the doctor was telling him about his shift. He listened to it but after few seconds he looked at Brendon’s neck. Smooth and white, it seemed strong and he asked himself how it would have felt under his mouth. He shook his head and smiled again, trying to avoid his thoughts.

They talked for a bit and when Dallon stood up, Brendon followed him and put a hand on his arm, squeezing it and making Dallon blush. He smiled at him and Brendon asked him if he wanted to take a beer with him, he agreed almost screaming his “yes” and they both giggled like two babies. They say goodbye to each other and decided to go to an Irish Pub near the train station; Brendon said that they was going there with his car and Dallon nodded silently, feeling his heart racing.

Brendon, once he was in his office, started to laugh loudly, jumping all around the room. He smiled, his cheeks started to hurt and his heart was bumping, the palms of his hands were sweating and his stomach was full of butterflies. He thanked Tyler with his mind because he suggested the “date but it’s not a date” with Dallon. He was tired of him and his “He’s so beautiful and soft”, he knew that but Tyler was the only one who could talk with about him. 

Dallon was very tall, Brendon felt short every time he saw him; he imagined to kiss him, he would have push on his toes and he giggled because he would have seemed an idiot. Dallon was beautiful too, with his light eyes and his perfect lips, his sharp cheekbones and his fluffy hair. He smiled thinking about their “date but it’s not a date” of that night. He wanted to take him in best pub of the town, he wanted to pay their beers and enjoy their time together. He liked when Dallon laughed and he hoped to make him laugh during their “date”. 

He sat down and he smiled, thinking about work and Dallon at the same time. He ended with writing a confused message to Tyler, telling him that that night he was going out with “you know who”. Tyler answered with a smile and some sweet words, he laughed and took his phone in his pocket, but after few seconds his pager rang. He groaned loudly and ran out of his office, buttoning his white coat and feeling his blood being cold like always, he zoned out when he saw the victim because she was in a really bad condition. It was just another ordinary day of work and he was ready to face it. 

*

When Tyler arrived at the hospital, Brendon smiled at him and he said an emotionless “hello”. He watched his friend ran to him and they talked for a bit, Tyler told him that the next day they was going together to Josh, Brendon nodded and after few seconds Dallon approached them, lying his left arm on Brendon’s shoulders, he smiled at him and then he blushed. Tyler asked to Dallon if he wanted to go with them the next day, he was sure that Josh would have enjoyed it because sometimes he had asked about the nurse. 

They sat down in the cafeteria, Brendon was looking at Tyler the whole time with his eyes narrowed. Dallon excused himself when his phone rang and he went out.

“You like him.”

“What?”, Tyler almost screamed, “I don’t like Dallon, not in _that_ way.”

“I wasn’t talking about him, I was talking about Josh”, Tyler gasped and looked at his friend with scared eyes, “because it’s obvious that you like him.”

“No it’s not-”

“Shut up Ty, Dallon and I are sure about it. You always talk about him, you go to see him every day and you phone the Clinic when you can’t go.”

“So what? We’re friends. I do the same with you.” 

“Do you speak about me with a silly face like I do when I talk about Dallon? C’mon, we both know that I’m right and you’re wrong.”, Tyler shook his head and he sighed, “You can be true with me.”

“And what if it is true? I would be disgusting because I’m his therapist and I’m his friend. I can’t just tell him “Hey Josh, do you wanna go on a date? Because I like you a lot and I wanna kiss you.”, plus it would be strange for him. I’m a man for God’s sake, he should date a girl and not me.” 

“But you like him and you care about him, this-”

“That’s not the point, Brendon!”, he shouted making the whole cafeteria went silent, “That’s not the point. We just can’t.”, he stood up and glared at him, “See you tomorrow.”, he walked away with his hands in the pockets of his white coat. 

Brendon wasn’t wrong. He cared about Josh but not in that way, he was his friend and he loved him in a “bro way”. In two months he earned Josh’s trust and he didn’t want to screw that, he wanted to look at him and see a normal guy, with an awful past but with a great future. He had learnt to write and to read, he could speak more fluently and the mistakes were fewer and Josh had thanked him for all. He was happy because Josh was happy too, in the Clinic he had found a lot of people like him and he socialized a lot, learning that “them” were the worst kind of people. He didn’t hate them, he didn’t know the meaning of that word, but he was just sad because he couldn’t meet his parents. This thing had made Tyler sad, he remembered his childhood with them, with his mom his dad and his siblings were the most important things for him. He wanted to give a family to Josh but he couldn’t and that made him thinking that he was useless.

*

Dallon was sitting near the door of the hospital. He had been waiting for Brendon since 6 p.m. and, when he looked at the clock, he saw that it already was 7 p.m. Brendon had told him to wait there and Dallon did so, resting his legs with his eyes closed. He was trying to calm down because he was too happy to think, to speak and to live. He just wanted to go out with the doctor and enjoy their time and their beers.

When Brendon asked him to go out- “it’s not a date, I mean it could be but it’s not, right? Right”- he giggled and nodded, feeling the butterflies in stomach fly and he couldn’t help his dumb expression on the face. He hoped that Brendon hadn’t saw it, but he was sure that the doctor had had is left eyebrow cocked. It was going to be an interesting night, he knew that and he knew that he couldn’t get drunk easily. 

He heard Brendon call his name and he smiled at him like a child. They walked in silence to Brendon’s car and jumped in it, Dallon started to feel a little bit embarrassed because the doctor was asking him if he had ruined his plans with his girlfriend or wife. He shook his head and muttered that he was single, no wife, no husband, no girlfriend and no boyfriend; in few that two seconds he had told Brendon that he was bisexual. He felt ashamed and he stared at the street for the whole ride, Brendon was talking randomly about the weather and about work. He just hoped that he didn’t see his red cheeks.

Dallon was touching his thighs through the jeans, he was keeping the beat of a song on the radio and he didn’t realize it until Brendon asked him if he was a drummer or something, he laughed and shook his head, whispering that he used to play bass during high school. Brendon smiled and Dallon did the same, sighing when he realized that his cheeks were red again. He cursed mentally and closed his eyes, hearing Brendon singing a silly song about a guy who just cut his road. 

They had already drunk three beers, Dallon wasn’t high but Brendon was because he had drunk two shots of vodka, a tequila and a Martini too. He was mumbling stupid things in his ear while he was trying to drink his Guinness, but he ended with drop it on his shirt; Dallon found it hilarious. He was sober and he had noticed a strange light in the doctor’s eyes, they were shining and Dallon thought that they were pretty. Brendon was pretty like always, with his ruffled hair and the first two buttons of his shirt opened. He was hot, and at this point Dallon wasn’t so sure about the fact that he wasn’t drunk too.

“You know what’s funny?”, Brendon muttered in his left ear, breathing against his skin and sniffing his scent, “The fact that I like you it’s funny. Because I really want to kiss you and be fucked in the bathroom of this pub.”

Dallon shuddered in pleasure and fear, he pushed Brendon away from him because he was drunk for fuck’s sake. He was drunk and the alcohol was talking, not the awesome and lovely doctor. Plus, he was sure that Brendon wasn’t a bottom: “You don’t want that, c’mon I’ll drive you home.”

“Your place or mine?”

“Brendon we’re going to talk about this tomorrow, when you’ll be sober.”

“But I wanna kiss you.”, he whispered in his neck, biting it a making Dallon gulping, “Pretty please, just a kiss.”, he said with a whiny voice and puppy eyes.

*

Josh was sitting in the living room of the House, he was waiting for Tyler but the visiting hours were almost done and he was scared that he didn’t want to see him anymore. He felt tears in his eyes and he hid his face in his sweatshirt’s sleeves, drying his eyes and trying to breath normally, but the fear took the place of the rationality and he breakdown, asking himself why Tyler left. He knew that he wasn’t perfect and he knew that he was fucked up but now he was doing better, wasn’t he? He was good, he could talk with people looking at them in the eyes without flinch or say “sorry”, he could hug and he could hold hands. He didn’t trust anyone but Tyler and now he was leaving him alone, and he was scared because he didn’t want his nightmares back; they had gone away when he had hugged Tyler for the first time, finding peace and love in his arms. 

Melanie had told him that he shouldn’t trust a _male_ , but Tyler was different and he knew that. He had been the first person in his life who cared about him, he was happy to have him but now everything was falling in pieces and it was his fault because he was useless and nobody would have been friends with him, because he couldn’t talk like everyone, because he couldn’t trust everyone, because he had been raped every day of his life for seven years. He hated what he was, he understood why _people like him had to stay in that House._ He was sick, he was dirty and he didn’t deserve friendships, he deserved solitude and nothing more.

_No one will love you if you are unattractive._

He knew that, he _saw_ that when he looked at himself in the mirror of his room. He didn’t like him, he didn’t like the form of his body, his arms and his chest, his legs and his neck. It wasn’t what he wanted, he was just another waste of oxygen and he knew it. And it hurt because no one had ever said the opposite, he had grown up hearing those men say that. It hurt because it was the truth and the truth hurts like a son of a bitch. He didn’t want to look at that mess of himself anymore.

_You’re such a cry baby._

It was true too. He had cried a lot in the past two months, he cried and he let the tears fall on his face, soaking his sleeves and the pillow. He had tried to stop them, but he couldn’t because _they_ were always there. He could hear their voices, their laughs while he was trying to hide in the closet; he could hear his screams when they had beaten him until he had passed out; he could hear his whole life and it made him cry more and more.

He curled in the bed with his face pressed in the pillow, sniffing Tyler’s scent from the day before and he bit his bottom lip, hugging himself with the soft blanket. He hadn’t had dinner and he wasn’t hungry, he just wanted to sleep for the next days, trying to forget what he had done in his room. He hoped that no one had noticed the broken mirror and the glass on the carpet, he wasn’t in the right mode to support an argument with the others and the volunteers who worked there. He pushed the blanket over his head and sobbed quietly, remembering when Tyler had told him that he shouldn’t be ashamed of his tears because he was a human. That thought made him sobbing and gulping until he fell asleep, exhausted.

*

Tyler was in his car in the parking lot of the Clinic. He felt his heart racing in his chest and cold sweat was running down his forehead because he didn’t know what he had to do. Maybe Dallon and Brendon was right, maybe he was infatuated of Josh, maybe he was trying to heal him because he wanted to see his smile, maybe he wanted to ask him if he wanted to go out with him sometimes, maybe he wanted Josh to trust him.

Maybe, but he was sure that his friends were wrong. But his heart raced when he thought about the boy, about his little smile and his eyes. He was sure that they were just friends, but thinking about him made him blush and giggle like a teenager, but after that he told himself that he was his therapist and his actions were immoral and dirty. Josh didn’t want it, he didn’t deserve to suffer anymore and he didn’t want to impose himself on him. He was sure that, if he tried to talk with him about his feelings would have submit  to him. And he didn’t want that.

He spent the visiting hours in his car, looking at the Clinic thinking about the whole situation. He had imagined living with Josh, hugging him, talking to him, spending the evenings on the couch and, maybe, kissing him sweetly. He groaned when he thought that, he was disgusting because he was his fucking therapist. He couldn’t think with his heart in that moment, he had to act like an adult and do the right thing, but he didn’t know what it was. He cursed loudly, punching the steering wheel and kicking. He was angry at himself and it was nauseated by his brain. 

He looked at the clock and he swore because the visiting hours had ended. He felt a bit of pain on his chest and he tried to hold the tears. He was pathetic and he knew it. In two months he had been infatuated of one of his fucking patients. He hated his heart and he hated what he wanted to do because he didn’t want to hurt Josh. He decided that the next day he was going to talk to him, to tell him that he couldn’t be his therapist anymore and that he couldn’t be his friend anymore because he didn’t see him in a friend way. He wanted to tell Josh that he was sorry but he couldn’t do that, it wasn’t fair for him and he didn’t want to hurt him. 

He was lying on the couch when his phone rang. He sat up tiredly groaning, he picked up and he heard his mom’s voice, sweet and soft. They talked for an hour, Tyler told her everything almost crying- he was crying, but he tried to control himself- and his mom started to laugh, saying that he was dumb because he was giving up without even trying. He told her that Josh was one of his patient and he had been raped, but his mom hushed him strictly, he tried to protest with a very mature “but mom!” and the woman laughed, telling him to give a chance to his heart, to try to talk with the guy about it and to make him understand that he was free to say _no_. He hang up crying because he just couldn’t do that, he had decided to break any kind of contact with him. He didn’t want to hurt him. 

He jumped on the couch and wrapped a pillow, holding it tightly. He watched some episode of a silly TV series but he didn’t pay attention to it. He was planning his speech for the next day and he was trying to make it simple but true, sweet to because the last thing that he wanted was to make Josh sad even if he knew that he was going to be sad because of him and his damn fear. But it was the right thing to do.

“Well, fuck.”, he mumbled 

*

Brendon woke up with an awful headache. He looked around the room and he realized that it was his bedroom. He started to panicking because he remembered that it had been in a pub with Dallon, he had drunk too much and, _God please no_ , he didn’t remember anything else. He hoped that he hadn’t done stupid things like fucking with someone who wasn’t Dallon.

He found himself in a warm bed with a warm body on him, who was snoring quietly and brushing his neck with a soft pair of lips while a strong hand was on his left hip, grabbing it tightly. He looked down and he saw black messy hair, soft and straight, he let out a breath when he saw Dallon on him, trying to curled himself against his body even if he was taller than him. He smiled and he closed his eyes again, squeezing Dallon’s arm and kissing his hair. He didn’t know if they had had sex or if they had kissed, or if they just decided to sleep in the same bed because they had been too drunk to drive, he didn’t know but he didn’t care because Dallon was asleep and he wanted to kiss his head, feeling his soft hair under his lips. But the boy sat up almost choking with his own spit, looking at Brendon an then at them, sighing calmly when he saw that they weren’t naked.

“What happened last night?”, Brendon asked yawning.

“Nothing, you were too drunk and we, well I decided that my place was closer than yours.”

“So we didn’t kiss, did we?”

“No, you tried but I stopped you because you were drunk.”, he said without think, then he blushed and he saw Brendon smirk.

“Would you have like it?”, he said sitting up and locking their eyes, “Because I were drunk but I really meant everything I said.”

“Really? So you wanted to be fucked in the pub’s toilet?”, Brendon babbled with his face hid behind his hands, “That was a little bit embarrassing for me.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be, it was fun and I didn’t know that-”

Brendon cut him off pressing his lips on his, smashing their mouths together and feeling Dallon hands on his neck, on his shoulders and in his hair. He bit his bottom lip and he smiled against his mouth, shoving his tongue inside his mouth, making Dallon gasping in the kiss. He planted his fingers in his scalp and Dallon groaned, caressing his neck and he slowed the kiss, trying to make it more sweet and passionless.

“You talk too much.”, Brendon murmured on his lips, searching some hair for his lungs.

Dallon rolled his eyes: “I do not, you’re the chatty one.”

He pressed their mouth together once more and this time it was slow, sweet- almost sloppy- and full of affection. Brendon closed his eyes and he focused on Dallon’s body, who was making the kiss saccharin but Brendon didn’t care because it was perfect for that moment. He pressed his lips on Dallon’s once more, hearing him giggle and deciding that it was the best thing in the whole world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just kill me if you want, I deserve that.
> 
> If you want to send me prompt you can do that on Tumblr (the-motionless-protest), Kik (heavydirtypen), Instagram too (the.motionless.protest) and Twitter (heavydirtypen). 
> 
> See you on Wednesday


	3. I want yo give you what you need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just don't hate me, please

Tyler  was waiting to enter into the Clinic. A nurse had told him that Josh was in his room and he had spent the whole morning in it, without eating or drinking. He had been just lying on the bed with his eyes open, staring at the ceiling without making a sound. Tyler smiled sadly at her and she said to him that he just had to wait few minutes until the start of the visiting hours. He nodded and sighed, biting his index fingernail.

He  _knew_ that it was his fault because he hadn't seen him neither called him the day before. He didn't know how he would have told him what he wanted to do. Maybe he could live like that for few more days because he didn't want to make him cry again. Probably he would ended with hate him and he was scared about it, he cared about Josh and that's the reason why he wanted to put the word "end" on everything. It was sick and disgusting and he didn't want to ruin him more and more. Plus  he was his therapist for God’s sake.

"Mr. Joseph, please follow me."

"I know where is his room, thanks Marion.", she blushed a bit and she nodded.

He walked quickly through the corridors and he knocked at his door. He opened it without wait for an answer that he knew he wouldn't received. He saw Josh curled in the bed, he was hugging himself tightly and he was sobbing quietly, murmuring and sniffing. His heart cracked in his chest when he thought that he was going to break him again, but it was the right thing for both of them. 

"Hey, Josh hi,", he boy sat up and he stared at him with wet eyes and his face soaked in tears, "why are you crying? Did you have another nightmare?", Josh nodded and he sat down near him, Josh wrapped his arms around his chest and pressed his face against his shirt, "I'm sorry, probably the meds don't work."

"I thought that you were going to leave me.", he mumbled sniffing and trying to stop the tears, "Why didn’t you come yesterday? Why didn't you call?"

"Josh we need to talk.", his voice was full of pain and anxiety.

"About what?"

"About the fact that I can't be your therapist anymore and," Josh opened his mouth but Tyler shushed him with a sad smile, "and I can't be your friend anymore."

Josh stood up too quickly, he almost fell down but he held tightly at the headboard: "Why?"

Tyler saw one tears running down his left cheek: "I can't do this, Josh. I can't look at you in a  _friendly_ way, I can't and this is immoral because I'm your therapist and it is dangerous for you because I don-"

"Because I had been raped!", he screamed kicking his nightstand, "It always is that! I can't go out too much because of it, I can't trust people because of it, I can't have a damn relationship because of it and don't give me that bullshit speech where you tell me that I need to live my life normally when you are the first who remember me  _every fucking day_ that I'm not a normal person!", he had pushed Tyler against the door, making him gasp while he was trying to calm him down, "You wanna leave? Leave then! You decide for me, right? So do what you want, I had been a puppet for seventeen years, I was dumb when I thought that you could be  _different_ . You chose for me, fine."

"It's not like-"

"It is. Did you ask me about your decision? No you didn't."

"I was wrong!", Tyler yelled back, "I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry! But don't you fucking dare to say to me that I'm like  _them_ .", his voice was loud and full of anger, which made Josh stepping back, pressing himself against the opposite wall, staying far away from Tyler.

"I thought that you were my family.", he couldn't stop the tears, he let them go and he found himself on the ground, "I thought you were my family.", he repeated quietly, making Tyler's heart racing in his chest.

"Josh I'm sorry.", he tried to touch his shoulders but he flinched, closing his eyes and sobbing, "I don't want to hurt you, please look at me,", the boy did so and he sniffed, "if I do what I have to do it's because I want you to live a healthy life, with a beautiful woman and maybe with a child. I'd like to be your family but I can't. You were one of my patients and I'm infatuated of you, this is gross and wrong. Really wrong. I can't look at you in  _that_ way, I can't. I'd like to be your friend but what if I make a dumb move? What if I force you because you don't know how to say 'no'? I don't want to ruin you. Okay?", Josh shook his head, pressing himself against the wall, trying to avoid Tyler's touch, "Try to understand, I don't want to start a relationship with you because you have to start it with a girl."

"I don't like them."

"You never tried."

"But I don't like them, too soft."

"Whatever, we can't, okay?"

"I want you to be with me, please?"

"No Josh, no. You'll be out of here soon and they already found a job for you and a house. You'll start a new life and you'll be finally free, but I can't be in your new life.", he pressed sweetly his hands on his arm and Josh slapped them, curling himself tighter and breathing heavily, "I swear to God I want to be with you, but we can't."

"We can't because you're scared of what I had been forced to.", he looked at him with liquid eyes, "You're scared because you think that I can't give you what you want. I know, sex is important in a relationship and you think that I don't want to be touched. And this is true, but I trust you so you can.", he dried his eyes with one of his sleeve and he sniffed, "That was your problem, wasn't it?"

"Jesus no!", Tyler locked their eyes, "This thought didn't even pass in my mind. I don't care about it. I don't want it because you're fragile."

"I'm not."

_You are and you know it._

"Josh I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.", he knelt in front of him and Josh sat up quickly, biting his lower lip until he tasted blood in his mouth. Tyler pushed himself forward and he pressed a dry kiss on his forehead, "I'm really sorry.", he whispered standing up, looking at the boy one last time, "Goodbye, please forgive me."

Josh took a slip-on and he threw it against the closed door. He pressed his head against the wall, crying until he fell asleep on the floor, curled around the jacket that Tyler had forgotten there once. 

*

Brendon was lying on the couch with his head on Dallon's lap. They had had their free day together and they decided to stay at home, lying on the couch with a shitty film on. Dallon had slept at Brendon's, finding hilarious his fancy sheets with drawings of roses on them. They were cute, but he couldn't help his laugh, making Brendon laughing too until he jumped on the bed holding his hand; Dallon almost hit his head against the wall because he was too much tall. Brendon laughed and wrapping his arms around his chest, kissing his head like a mom and trying to heal his bruise. 

Dallon had made the coffee for both of them while Brendon was sleeping and snoring in his bed. He woke him up with a chaste kiss on his left pectoral making the doctor groaning ad curling his toes. He frowned and then he smiled, scrolling his head and kissing his chest sweetly. Brendon smiled and mumbled until Dallon bit his neck, which made him woke up with a confused face. 

Now they were lying on Brendon's couch, he was playing with Dallon's left hand while his right was in his hair, scratching his scalp and making him purr like a cat. The TV was on but they didn't follow the movie, they was too occupied with making the other blushing and Dallon was winning it. Brendon's cheeks were pinky and his heart was racing non-stop. He knew that Dallon would have been a damn tease but he didn't know that his large hands would have been so good in his hair. He pressed his head against them and Dallon giggled, kissing his temple sweetly. 

He was the sweet one and Brendon was the dumb who was thinking dirty things; together they were sloppily dumb.

He rolled on his back and looked at him. He greeted him with a shy "hi cutie" which Dallon ate with a soft kiss, biting his lower lip and massaging his tummy and his hair at the same time. Brendon closed his eyes and he pressed one of his hand on Dallon's neck, trying to have him nearer. He smiled in the kiss and Brendon opened his lips with his tongue, making the kiss wet and passionate. It didn't last too much and, after few deep breaths, he attached Dallon's lips once more, pushing his tongue in his mouth again and hearing Dallon gasping and tugging his t-shirt, humming on his lips with a satisfied smile. 

Dallon pushed up Brendon’s t-shirt, he touched his skin with his long fingers and he started to bite and kiss his neck, making him moan and giggle, pulling his hair and asking for more. He felt the warm of his skin under his index finger and he planted his fingernails in his left hips, kissing and sucking a dark purple hickey on Brendon’s neck. The smooth flesh was now full of red and pink marks, Dallon was biting and licking the bruised skin and Brendon found it hot, too much fucking hot. He was getting hard just because of it and he felt a hard pressure against his shoulders. He sat up and looked at Dallon, making him blush and he whispered some apologizes, passing a hand through his messy hair; Brendon hadn’t been gentle with it. 

He didn’t say anything, he just sat on Dallon’s lap and pressed his forehead against his, looking at him in the eyes and rubbing their nose together. He smiled and kissed him again, sucking his bottom lip and his tongue. He had never been so explicit, usually he had chosen a quickie and he had thought about his own pleasure, but with Dallon was different because everything was slow, sweet and passionate. It wasn’t lust, there were a lot of emotions and he couldn’t help him smile. 

“Should we take it into the bedroom?”, Dallon asked biting his lobe, shoving his right hand under his t-shirt.

“The couch is comfortable, plus I don’t know if I can walk now.”, his knees were like butter under the sun, he asked himself if it was love.

“Understandable.”, he placed his hands on his jaw, smiling and leaning forward, starting to sniff and kiss his neck sweetly, posing butterfly’s kisses all over it and closing his eyes, enjoying the moment, “Can I?”, he tugged his t-shirt and Brendon nodded quickly, removing Dallon’s tank top and finding himself fully hard because his chest was perfectly smooth and white. He gulped when he almost tore his t-shirt of, staring at him and licking his dry lips, “Bren you don’t know how beautiful you are.”

That phrase made him blush and he lowered his eyes, he stared at Dallon’s belly and at his crotch, seeing how excited he was too. He palmed him from his basketball shorts, Dallon gasped and rolled his eyes, closing them after few seconds. He scratched gingerly Brendon’s back and he heard him purr in his ears, licking his neck like a damn cat. It was too much for his body and a shiver ran down his back, making him shudder and wrapping his arms around Brendon tightly, pressing him against his chest and trapping his hand between their crotches. He moaned loudly when he squeezed his cock gently. He sucked Brendon’s lobe in response, gripping his hips roughly and adjusting himself under him, bumping deliberately their cocks together.

“Dallon”, Brendon started with a whiny voice, “too much clothes here. Too much.”

“I agree with you. We should do something, shouldn’t we?”, Brendon nodded quickly pressing a wet kiss on his lips, standing up and removing his sweatpants keeping eye contact with Dallon, who did the same almost stumbling down.

Brendon bit his lower lip, he reached a hand and he touched Dallon’s thighs, scratching the flesh cautiously, seeing his bulge right in front of him. He smiled and touched it, making the nurse curse and he threw his head back, almost falling because they were still standing up. Brendon pushed him against the couch, he sat down and looked at him with lust in his eyes, making the doctor trembling of expectation. He knelt on the floor, he opened Dallon’s thighs grabbing them and crawling until he was at few inches from his cock. He rested his chin on his pubis, feeling the warm of his skin and how hard he was. He kissed his flesh and he heard Dallon whispering his name, tugging his hair and breathing quickly. Brendon teased him for few minutes until there was a dark stain on his boxer, then he pressed his mouth on it and licking his dick with only his tongue.

“Do something for fuck’s sake!”, Dallon shouted making Brendon confused because he usually was quietly and classy, “Just suck it or touch it bur don’t tease me!”

Brendon palmed his cock from his boxers and he held the elastic of it, he undressed Dallon completely and he kissed his left thigh one more time and he took his dick in his hand, stroking it slowly and feeling how warm it was in his palm. He opened his mouth and he posed a wet kiss on the tip, tasting pre-cum and he smiled, tracing a vein with his tongue and seeing Dallon murmuring and gasping for some hair. He closed his lips on his cock, sucking it and moving his hand slowly, twisting it and let some spit drip on it, eyeing Dallon face.

He went down on his cock, feeling it against the back of his throat and he moaned sucking and pumping it with his lips, making Dallon touch the edge in too much less time. He wanted to cum with him so he stopped and he just moved his hand slowly, hearing him curse and hold his breath, asking him with a whiny voice to keep going. But he shook his head and he started to kiss his thighs, biting them and sucking red marks on them, while Dallon was fucking himself using Brendon’s hand, which was around his cock. Brendon smiled and he sat in his lap.

“I want to ride you.”

“What?”, Dallon stared at him with dark eyes, breathing heavily and caressing his chest.

“I want to ride you.”, he said normally and his behavior made Dallon shuddering, “Why not? We have what we need right here. Just do it, right?”

“But it’s going to hurt you.”, he cupped his face and pressed a sweet kiss on his lips, “And I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’ve tried it and it’s amazing, plus we’ll use more lube so you’ll be sure to-”

“Brendon please,”, Dallon laughed and smiled, “you talk to much, but okay we’ll try.”, he sucking at his neck and the doctor giggled, “Promise me that you’ll tell me if it hurts.”, he nodded and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips.

He took off his boxers and he started to search into the small commode near the couch, he took the lube and a condom, handing them to Dallon who looked at him with concerned eyes. He touched his cheeks and sat on him, pressing his butt on Dallon’s cock moving quickly and moaning, grunting and gasping in Dallon’s left ear. He sucked the lobe and he opened the lube with shaking hands because Dallon was stroking his shaft, touching the slit with his thumb and that made Brendon squeeze his eyes shut, trying to fuck his hand.

Dallon took the lube and he poured it in his fingers, he warmed it up and he saw Brendon open his thighs more and more, leaning forward and lifting his back. He touched his ass-cheeks and his entrance with his digit. Brendon grabbed his shoulders and he rubbed his finger against his bum, teasing it and waiting, but the doctor was becoming needy and he pushed his first knock in, paying attention at Brendon’s breath, but he pushed himself on his index until it was all inside him. Dallon started to move it slowly, but Brendon asked for more after few minutes and he nodded. He locked his eyes with Brendon’s when he pushed the second finger in him, seeing his cheeks became red like a strawberry. He kissed them and moved the fingers deeply, arching them and searching the right spot. When he found his prostate Brendon screamed and planted his nails in his shoulders.

“Dall, Dall one more j-just one please.”, he moaned with rough voice. He nodded and pressed the third fingers in his butt, feeling Brendon moaning and whispering his name. He moved them fast and deep but he didn’t touch his sweet spot, “I’m ready, Dall, Dall c’mon I’m r-ready- _oh God_.” 

Dallon removed his fingers and kissed his forehead. He lubed his cock and Brendon rolled his eyes when he saw how much lube he had used, but he understood that he didn’t want to hurt him even if with the condom on it would be almost easier. Almost. Dallon caressed his face with his clean hands and Brendon closed his eyes, he let his cock slip in him and he moaned loudly with tears in his eyes because he was so  _damn hot_ and he felt so full. It was a mystic sensation and he held his breathe until he touched Dallon’s thighs with his ass. He threw his head back and he cursed under his shaking breathe.

“Are you okay?”, he nodded because he didn’t trust his voice, “Should I move?”, Brendon shook his head and he lifted up a bit, falling down and repeating it several times until his moves didn’t hurt anymore. 

He groaned and pressed a wet kiss on Dallon’s lips, licking them and biting. He started to move his hips and he let out a shaky noise. He hissed when Dallon touched his prostate and that made Brendon lost his control, starting to fuck himself and trying to kiss the nurse but he couldn’t because his lungs needed oxygen. When Dallon palmed his shaft with his sweaty palm and at the same time hitting his prostate, Brendon saw the stars, God and Jesus. He screamed his names and his moves became messy and fast, deep. He pressed his forehead against Dallon’s who had his eyes close and his lips open.

“It’s amazing Brendon, keep going babe.”, he muttered grabbing his ass, “You still are so tight, I swear to God you’re going to- _ah_.”

“Dall I’m so close, so, so close.”, he whispered breathless, feeling Dallon’s hand bumping fast and his thumb brushed his slit while his cock was hitting his sweet spot. It was inevitable: he came screamed Dallon’s name with his eyes close and his head threw back, gasping and gulping.

Dallon came too when he saw a drop of cum run down Brendon’s stomach. He collapsed on him, sighing happily and hugging him. Dallon slipped out slowly and he knew that Brendon, now, was too sensitive. He kissed his temples and he threw the condom on the floor, wrapping his arms around Brendon’s chest, making them lay on the couch, facing each other. He kissed him sweetly, caressing his cheeks and his hair, pulling away and rubbing their noses together.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just want to sleep and make out after a nap.” 

Dallon laughed, holding him tightly.

*

Tyler was staring at the ceiling in his bedroom. He had glued a lot of glowing stars on it, he looked at them with a smile during the night because when he couldn’t sleep he could just stare at them. He was thinking, he was pondering what he had done to Josh, what he had done to their friendship. He had done the right thing, he knew that and he knew that he was going to be sad, frustrated and tired for almost a week, but he would be okay and Josh would be okay too. At least he hoped so.

_I thought you were my family._

He closed his eyes and pressed his hands on them, he was hearing Josh’s voice in his head and he started to shake because he was so sorry. He didn’t know that he was going to be so hurt, he didn’t know that he was going to regret what he had done. He just didn’t think about that because he had had to do that for Josh, not for his own feelings, but he wanted to go back to the Clinic and say sorry to him, hugging him tightly, pressing his head against his shoulders and never let him go. He wanted to talk to him, he wanted to stare at his chocolate brown eyes and drown in them. He knew that he was going to miss them, to miss his little and shy smile and he felt his heart skip a beat when he realized that he would never been able to see him and to sniff his sweet scent.

Because he had ruined everything.

After two hours on the couch he grabbed his phone, searching Brendon’s contact. He pressed his fingers on the right button and he held his mobile near his left ear: “Hi Bren.”

“ _The fuck you want?_ ”

He heard someone mumbling and Brendon sighed, giggling after few instant: “Yeah it’s nice to hear you too. Listen tomorrow I can’t come to work.”

“ _Why?_ ”

“I’m… I’m sick.”

“ _You aren’t sick. What have you done now_?”, Brendon sounded concerned, “ _Tyler?_ ”

“No, well, I might… I told Josh that I wasn’t going to be his therapist anymore and that… that we couldn’t be, like y’know, friends anymore.”, he ended the sentence with muffled voice.

“ _You what? I hope you’re kidding_.”, Tyler stayed silent and he heard Brendon cursing, “ _Are you an idiot? Oh God, have you listen Dall? He… I can’t believe you, I swear I don’t even know why you’ve done that._ ”, Tyler opened his mouth trying to respond but Brendon cut him off, “ _No wait, wait, you’ve done that because you like him, haven’t you?”_

“No, yes but that’s not the point.”

“ _Is that bad_?”, Tyler heard Dallon’s voice and Brendon muttered some quick words.

“ _This is the point, why have you done that?_ ”, Tyler pressed his right thumb and his index on his eyes, sniffing and biting his lips, “ _No, I don’t want to know, I don’t. Don’t come tomorrow, go and talk to Josh please, we both know that this thing will destroy both of you. You’re such an asshole, do you know that?”_

_He knew, he fucking knew_ .

*

Josh didn’t ate his dinner. He just stared at his friends and he felt his head start to hurt. He stood up and he excused himself, walking away in his room and shutting the door. He sat down on his bed, he had cried for the whole afternoon after Tyler had left, his eyes now were swollen and red, his lips were dry and his cheeks were still sticky. He was tired, sad and he wanted to sleep for the rest of his life, but Melanie was sitting on her bed, looking at him and talking about the fact that she had found a job and a house. He smiled but his eyes were full of sadness and he tried to hold his tears, but Melanie was now caressing his hair.

“Do you want to come with me tomorrow?”, he shook his head, “But it’ll be fun! C’mon, Josh please come with me”, he shook his head again and three tears ran down his cheeks, “I don’t know how you’re feeling, I have never liked someone, but I know that everything will be okay, trust me. You’ll get out of this place too and you’ll create a new life. Everything will be fine, Josh. Everything.”, she ruffled his hair smiling.

And she was saying the truth, but he didn’t know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, you want to kill me and stuff (and you can if you want tbh), but there's a bit of smut and... well, no I'm an awful person. I cried when I wrote this chapter, so yeah, I'm still in pain.
> 
> Btw, if you want to send me prompts/ chat/ kill me, you can find me on Tumblr (the-motionless-protest), Instagram (the.motionless.protest), Twitter (heavydirtypen) and Kik too (heavydirtypen)
> 
> See you on Friday frens


	4. Get me out of my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just punch me

Three years had passed and Josh didn’t even feel them. He had found a job, a small one but enough for him, and a nice flat; small, comfy and full of light. He lived near Melanie and Max, all of them had passed the first month of freedom trying to not freak out, but he was okay now and he had made a lot of friends thanks to his work and because Brendon was more and more present than ever. He and Dallon had taken him to a lot of events, and their behavior made him feel like their son. He was full of love for them.

In three years he hadn’t see Tyler, but he didn’t forget him. He was still in his mind and that hurt him because he wasn’t free. He was till tangled to him, mentally and physically. He had tried to have relationships but they didn’t end well, he put the word “stop” on them because in the first one, he proved himself that he didn’t like girl, and in the second- the last- one he ended everything because the boy hadn’t understood that he wasn’t ready for sex; he had ran away when the boy tried to give him a blowjob.

Now, he was twenty one years old, almost twenty two, and he was watching his life dying because he was in love with Tyler. He loved him and he knew that he was going to be hurt, he had told Brendon that and the guy had hugged him while Dallon was caressing his hair, cursing quietly and locking his eyes with his fiancée. In the last three years of life he started to appreciate the small things of life and to keep himself safe. He was seeing a therapist and she knew everything about him, she was a good person and he trusted her, she had told him to let his heart decide, to don’t fight his feelings for the doctor, but he was so afraid that, every time they had talked about it, he started to cry and sob.

He lived in a good place in Columbus, between a market and a cinema. He hoped to see Tyler a lot of time, but that never happened. It seemed that he had moved or something, he even asked Brendon but he shrugged and he told him that the man was working non-stop; at least, Josh thought, they were in the same city. He knew that he was helpless, he knew that Dallon had tried several times to make him forget Tyler, but he couldn’t because he had been the first person who helped him three years before.

He knew that that night Brendon wanted to take him to a bar, but he would told him that he was sick and he would finished his day on the couch, eating a pepperoni pizza and drinking lemonade with a sloppy film. He looked at his phone and he saw a message from Dallon who was telling him that Brendon was sick and they couldn’t go out. He typed a quick message and he pressed his head against a pillow, muttering and chewing a slice of pizza, with a pack of chips in front of him.

He was going to spend the whole night there with his cat, Merle which meant “blackbird” because he was all black with yellow eyes, petting his fur and making him purr. He had found him in a cold night during December in front of his door, he was little and lost, he had taken him in his house and the following day he had carried him to the nearest vet. He had taken care of him and the cat was very smart, plus he was a cuddly and Josh had taught him how to jump in bed without waking him up. He was three years old and he always slept with him, always sat on the couch with him pressing his head against his stomach, searching cuddles and kisses between his ears. Josh used to scratch his chin and Merle used to mewl. 

He ended with a hand on his cat, without socks and his arms wrapped around a soft pillow. Merle was sleeping near it and he had a paw on Josh’s right wrist. He was almost falling asleep but the movie was interesting and the love story was a good one, he had to admit to himself that it was a good film, but the softness of Merle’s fur carried him to sleep at 10 p.m.

*

Tyler was looking at his new apartment with happy eyes. It was bigger than the first, full of light and isolated. It was near a cinema and opposite of it there was a Starbucks, a book shop and a music shop; Tyler was fucking happy because he had all he wanted in front of his house. He watched the boxes and he sighed, he didn’t want to unpack them so he decided to crash on his bed, starting to snoring after few minutes.

He moved in that flat because he needed a new place, a fresh start after his relationship. It was a big hole in the water, he didn’t love the girl and he had cheated on her from the first month. He knew that he was doing that just because he was frustrated by his behavior with Josh and, after three years, he continued to asked Brendon how he was, if he has doing well and if found someone. Dallon had always shook his head. He moved in that apartment following Brendon’s advice. When he had looked at it the first time, he had felt like at home. It was good and perfect for him. Him and his thoughts, his paperwork and his piano; moving it in the house was like a suicide. 

He decided to use the metro for getting to work. He watched his imagine in the window in front of him and he saw a guy almost asleep sitting near him. He turned his head to look at him and he noticed his open mouth and his black t-shirt; close to him there was an old lady with a happy face, she was holding his niece’s hand; near them he saw a homeless man and sat next to him a girl with half hair pink and the other half black. 

He lowered his eyes and stared at his trousers, his shoes and his briefcase. He shook his head and walked through the doors. He arrived at the hospital after ten minutes of walk, he cheered Brendon who was kissing- almost sucking- Dallon’s lips, with a hand shoved in his hair. He let out a small laugh and Dallon’s cheeks went red, Brendon waved his right hand and he said to him that they had to talk during the lunch break. A shiver ran down his back and he nodded, walking quickly into his office.

He knew what Brendon was going to say to him but he didn’t want to think about it. He wore his white coat- “ _Can I keep it?”, “Sure Josh_ ”- and he took a deep breath, he rubbed his eyes and then his whole face, searching a bottle of water on his desk. He drank it with huge gulps and he threw the empty bottle in the trash can, closing his eyes and repeating to himself that everything was okay. He was in his office alone, no one was there with him and he was just thinking about old conversations. Nothing more, nothing less.

He checked his patients and he talked with them with a big smile. Jordan was finally okay, she was smiling even if two of her teeth weren’t in his mouth because of his ex husband; Matt was silent as always, but he had smiled when he had asked him if he was happy; Kristine was lying in her bed with his hands wrapped angrily around a newspaper but he calmed her down; Brian was eating his bowl of cereal, which his sister had given him the night before because he didn’t like the hospital’s breakfast; Sarah was talking to herself but this time, at least, she was saying to her “friend” to leave her alone. 

It was a good day, his first shift was almost ended and he walked slowly in the cafeteria- “ _What’s a coffee?”, “It’s a warm drink, one day I’ll give you a cup of it.”-_ and he sat down at his usual table, watching the parking lot and the trees around it. He smiled and he started to play with the food on his plate, waiting for Brendon and Dallon. He rested his head on his left hand and he saw some nurses talk and laugh, some doctors were reading paperwork and eating at the same time but the others were chatting and laughing, enjoying their break until the next shift. He looked at the clock on the wall and he sighed happily when he realized that he had two hours of freedom.

*

“Bren, c’mon Brendon we can’t do this here!”, Dallon whispered between two kisses.

“Why not?”, he asked licking his lobe, starting to bite it, “We’ve done it already, so shut up.”

“Brendon!”, he grabbed his shoulders and looked at him, “Tyler is waiting for us.”, he kissed him one last time, ruffling his hair, “You’ll have the rest tonight.”, he said with a low voice, making Brendon gasp and stare at him, “C’mon, we have to go.”

They walked through the corridors and the doctor was staring at his fiancée’s ass; in the elevator he place a hand on it and he squeezed, making Dallon curse under his breath and he looked at him with angry eyes. He smiled warmly and he got out of the elevator, running in the cafeteria with his hand tangled with Dallon’s. Their fingers were locked and he felt his stomach full of butterflies and fireworks. After three years of kisses, hugs, silly arguments, jokes, days spent together and great, amazing, perfect sex, he was still blushing when Dallon had told him that he was the love of his life.

“Tyboy,”, Brendon sat down next to the psychiatrist, “how are you doing?”

“Quit the bullshit, Bren.”, he waved his hand to Dallon and he smiled, “What do you need?”

“Well, you know that Dall and I will be married soon.”, Tyler nodded and ruffled his hair, “Do you want to be my best-man?”

Tyler giggled and smiled, letting out a relaxed sigh: “Of course, yes!”

“Beebo I’ve told you that he’d like it.”, Dallon murmured in Brendon’s ear.

“Who the fuck is Beebo?”, Tyler looked at them and he smiled, shaking his head and pressing his chin on his left hand, “I’m happy for both of you.”

“Yeah, me too.”, Brendon shrugged and he stood up, “I, uhm, I think we have to do _that_ thing now. The flowers won’t buy themselves alone.”, Dallon rolled his eyes and he glanced at Tyler, searching for help, but the doctor shook his head and Brendon dragged him out of the cafeteria.

They ran to Brendon’s office and Dallon laughed out loud when he fell on the floor, hitting his elbow and grabbing his sleeve; Brendon was worried that he had hurt himself, but his laugh calmed him. Dallon got up and they broke into the doctor’s office, he pressed his sweet, sweet boyfriend against the door, kissing him deeply and hungrily, shoving one hand under his t-shirt while Brendon was struggling with his white coat. He kissed him sloppily and he bit his bottom lip, making him moan in mouth, with his hands in his hair. Dallon smiled and he started to kiss his soft neck, licking and sucking purple bruises on it; he knew that Brendon loved hickeys and love bites. Dallon grabbed his butt and he massaged it while he was sucking a spot near Brendon’s Adam’s Apple, and he let out a loud gasp when they thrust their crotch together. Brendon breathed heavily and he gasped Dallon’s name and he pressed his head on the door, allowing the nurse to bite, suck and kiss more of his neck and he was mesmerized by his lips on him.

“You think you can wait until tonight?”

Brendon gulped: “Dall, Dall, babe please, pretty please?”, Dallon smiled in a lovely way, nodding and opening his belt, palming his dick through his trousers, “We’ll have a proper fuck tonight. A good one. But now please, please...”, he said gasping and pressing Dallon’s face on his neck, sniffing his shampoo.

“Nu-uh, we’re going to make love tonight, Bren. Slowly, deeply, sweetly and full of emotions. Just how we like it.”, he murmured in his ear, kissing softly the skin behind it and making Brendon smile.

He shuddered a bit and he threw his arms at Dallon’s shoulders, gripping his hair and smashing their mouths together, with his eyes closed and a sweet pair or red cheeks that Dallon caressed with his thumbs.

*

Josh was working hard. He loved his job and he was full of happiness when he was there, it was a small job but he was really grateful about that. He worked in the local books shop and he was spending his whole shift reading because no one was there. He had smelled the books and he had found the right one; he smiled when he understood a whole chapter on his own, he closed the book, proud of himself and with his mind full of new information. He looked out of the window and saw a guy walk in the shop, running under the pouring rain. He opened and closed the door breathless, ruffling his hair and stroking his chest. 

Tyler always did that. 

“Can I help you?”, he said toneless, looking tiredly at the guy.

He didn’t like him.

“Yes please. I’m searching Speaking In Tongues by Deaver.”, Josh nodded and he stood up, starting to search the book on the shelves, “It’s for a friend. That’s his birthday present.”, Josh cocked an eyebrow and sighed because he didn’t give a fuck about it, “I, can you make a gift box of it?”

“Yeah.”, he said coldly, grabbing the book and running behind his desk, “Just wait a minute.”

“Sure!”, the guy looked at him with a huge smile and Josh frowned because Tyler’s smile were more beautiful and, even if the guy was doing everything like him, he wasn’t him, “So, shitty day, huh?”, Josh smiled because he _had to_ and nodded, “I mean, I was working and it started to rain, but fortunately I was in my office. But then, I realized that I was without an umbrella and now I’m soaked.” 

“It’s twelve dollars, cash or card?”

The boy looked at him and he gave him twenty dollars, Josh handed him his bag and the rest. The guy said goodbye and Josh sighed because now he was missing Tyler, again, and this time it was rougher, he felt his heart aching, but he knew that it was just his imagination. He was wont of it and he didn’t care so much; it was just him being dumb about the fact that he was in love with someone who left him alone during a good period of his life, making him sick and sad. Brendon had told him that he loved Tyler because, in his brain, he had saved him from that two bastards. Josh knew that it was partially true, but he loved him because he was all he needed. Dallon understood him, Brendon didn’t, but it was okay.

His chest was keeping to ache and now he was concerned because that wasn’t normal, he felt that something was wrong and he closed his eyes, taking deep breaths, like when he had a panic attack-“ _In, out, in, out. Here we are Josh”, “Ty, hurts, it hurts_ .”- but it wasn’t working like usual.

When he hit the ground, he saw the stars and Tyler’s voice was surrounding his brain.

*

Dallon was playing with his right sleeve. There was no one who needed his help and he was bored that he almost fell asleep, but he heard some shouts down in the hall and the loud noise of an ambulance. He ran with the doctors at the main door, he asked what the patient had and they scrolled his shoulders, telling him that he had passed out and his heart was beating to slowly. As one of the most important nurse, he started to say what the others should do and they did as he said, preparing all the doctors need. He watched the expressions on their face and he felt a shiver running down his back. He looked at the patient on the stretcher and his blood ran cold through his veins.

“Call Urie, now!”, he shouted at one nurse, staring at Josh and feeling his heart racing, “Does he need a surgery?”

“No, it was a heart attack.”, one of the doctor said.

“A what? How? He’s young!”

“We don’t know. We have to wait until he’ll wake up.”

Dallon prepared the room and he watched the doctors do their job with the other nurses. He was watching it but everything was in slow-motion and he didn’t know what he had to do. He just waited for Brendon and he hoped that Tyler wasn’t with him. The doctors put Josh on the bed and they stuck two needles in his arm. He saw Brendon ran into the room and his eyes were full of fear when he noticed Josh in the bed. He hugged Dallon tightly and the doctors left, saying that he was stable and his pulse was now normal. They sat down on the chairs and Brendon started to rub their hands, looking shocked and he was beating a foot on the ground, following the rhythm of a song in his head. 

“Do you think he-”

“No. It’s… it’s the stress, I hope so.”

“What if it’s not?”

“It is. Nothing to worry, not much.”, Dallon nodded and he let out a low breath, “We just have to wait.”

He kissed his forehead and they stood up, putting the chairs near the bed and they stared at Josh, who was asleep. His cheeks were white as a wall, his breath was low and heavy, his chest was moving up and down and he was resting peaceful on the bed, covered by the warm blanket and seeming a normal person who was just sleeping. Brendon knew that he had to tell it to Tyler but he didn’t know how, he was afraid that he didn’t care because of his pride. He hoped that Josh wanted to see him, he really hoped so because they needed each other more than they would have ever admit.

*

Spending two hours in his office was boring, Tyler hated the silence and he was alone with his thoughts now, and that was bad. Really bad. Of course the main character of them was Josh, even if he would have never say that. After three years he was still hate himself for what he had done to him, to them; Brendon had been so pissed that hadn’t talked with him for a whole week. Dallon was the concerned one: he was so worried for both of them and he had told Tyler about Josh every week, keeping him full of information. When he had tried his relationship, Dallon had been so disappointed, Brendon hadn’t spoken with him for two weeks that time. 

Now he was alone. He was a costumer of the local gay bar and sometimes he had found someone to fuck, or to be fucked, and he was trying to avoid that thoughts because his behavior made him disgusted by himself. Fortunately he was a psychiatrist and he could control his mind, but he couldn’t control Brendon ad his tongue, or Dallon and his sadly, angry eyes. He just hoped that Josh had made a better choice for his life. 

His pager rang and he read the message- “Come in the room 304. NOW.”-, he stood up and he wore his white coat, buttoning it and shoving his hands in the pockets. The room wasn’t far from his office and he remembered when Josh had been there. It was  _their_ room. He sighed and his heart bumped, he saw Dallon and Brendon out of the door. He was worried now and a strange feeling was making him sick.

“What’s the matter?”, he said quietly.

“Josh is in there.”, Brendon looked exhausted, “He had a heart attack. The cardiologist said that it was fault of a long period of stress. It could happen, he said.”, Tyler nodded and he stepped back, “You don’t give a fuck, do you?”

“Brendon.”, Dallon whispered putting his hand on his left shoulders, rubbing it.

“Of course I care!”, he snapped in response.

“Where were you in this past three years?”, Dallon opened his mouth, trying to calm his boyfriend, but Brendon was faster than him, “You were playing the “happy couple” with that chick and, at the same damn time, you were fucking the whole gay scene of this town!”, Brendon was yelling now and Tyler knew that he was right, “He had cried for days before we cheered him up, he was broken, he tried to have a life but he couldn’t!”

“Brendon, please calm down.”, Dallon placed his hand on his neck, caressing his skin.

“I couldn’t too, Brendon and you know that.”, Tyler said trying to hold his tears.

“He couldn’t because he fucking love you! And you don’t care, you just don’t care!”

“Brendon, hush c’mon calm down honey, calm down.”, Dallon rubbed his hair and hugged him.

“Sorry.”, he muttered returning the hug, pressing his head against Dallon’s.

It was like a car crash: Tyler was gasping for some air and he hat to sat down, with his head in his hands because Brendon was right, so fucking right. And it hurt, it hurt like a son of a bitch and the pain was too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm crying. Yeah, I'm such a crybaby sometimes but writing this shit made me emotional. I thought that maybe it could help because, you know, shitty day, shitty life and shitty family, but nope. Absolutely nope. I'm feeling guilty.  
> So well, just don't hate me. I promise that the last chapter will be boom!, in a positive way I mean.  
> Well, well, comments are welcomed and opinions too!   
> If you wanna give me advice/ prompts/ other things you can find me on Tumblr (the-motionless-protest), Twitter (heavydirtypen), Instagram (the.motionless.protest) and Kik too (heavydirtypen) because, really, I need company.  
> See you on Wednesday!


	5. Bed sheets and a morning rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talks, fluff, Brallon things but not much, a lot of Joshler fluff because I need it
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy!

Tyler entered into the room and he saw Josh, with his head turned at the window while his hand was rubbing the soft blanket. It was one of his old habit, he loved the softness of it, Tyler had given him a blanket back at the Clinic, he had been so happy when he had touched it for the first time and Tyler had loved his smile. But now, oh now, he was watching his… he didn’t know what he was for him, he didn’t know. 

“It still rains.”, Josh muttered, “It was raining when you found me in the basement.”, he looked at Tyler and he pointed with his index at the chair next to him, “You haven’t told me how you’ve found me.” 

“The police did the most, I was just helping. I’m not your savior.”, he said quietly, almost whispering because he couldn’t face Josh.

“I know that you aren’t.”, he watched him and Tyler lowered his eyes, “You can’t even look at me, am I so disgusting for you?”

“No, no, I just-”, he licked his lips and he locked their eyes, seeing how tired Josh was, “I’m sorry.”, he said out loud, with a sure tone and grabbing Josh’s left hand, “I’m sorry that I left, I wasn’t thinking straight but it’s not an excuse. You suffered and I did too, but, but I shouldn’t have done that. I was such a moron and-”

“You were, but now I know why you did that. I’m not angry anymore.”, he said letting Tyler stroke his hands, melting in his fingers and in his eyes, “I’d like to talk to you in an adult way.”

Tyler nodded and he smiled, pushing his chair closer to Josh. He talked for almost an hour and Josh was finally smiling, he was staring at him and he was listening happily to him. He told him why he did that, why he left him and why he didn’t make a move to contact him during those three years,; Josh understood everything and his eyes were full of questions. Tyler asked him how he had spent those three years and when he heard that he had had two relationships he felt his heart bumping in his chest. He told him about his own and Josh nodded, asking him if he was with her, but he shook his head and he saw a little smile on Josh’s face.

He smiled back at him and he felt his thumb pressing on his knuckles. Josh seemed almost asleep again and he didn’t want him to sleep, he wanted to talk to him because he missed him so much, he loved him so much and he wanted to kiss him but he couldn’t because he didn’t know how he would react. He stood up when he saw Josh with his eyes closed and his lips opened, he remove his hands from Josh’s grip and he looked at his now opened eyed. He said goodbye but Josh shook his head and Tyler smiled, sitting down again.

“I hoped during these years that you would came to me. But you didn’t. You didn’t.”, he said sadly, planting his fingernails in Tyler’s left palm, “And now you’re here. I don’t understand why.”

“Because I think I wanna try again, and I want to stay this time.”

“What if I don’t want you anymore?”

“I can understand.”, he said biting his bottom lip.

“Stay. Stay here, with me.”, he murmured, falling asleep and snoring softly.

*

Brendon was lying in the bed with his head on Dallon’s chest. He was enjoying his hands tangled in his hair and his soft breath, while his chin was placed on his head; Brendon didn’t mind that Dallon was taller than him, it was cute for him especially when he had to push on his tiptoes to kiss him, oh Brendon always chuckled when he had to do it. Dallon always smiled and usually he kissed his temples, giggling and ruffling his hair.

Brendon rolled on his stomach, he kissed Dallon’s chest and he looked at him. After two hours out of Josh’s room they decided to go back at home, Brendon didn’t want to do it but Dallon convinced him, saying that they were going to call Tyler during the night. He told him so but he knew that they were just going to forget about that, because Brendon was tired and sad so he would just sleep for almost two hours. Dallon had hugged him tightly and he held him during his nap, hearing him snoring and mumbling. Now, he was awake and he was lying on him, tickling his chest with the tip of his fingers. Brendon was staring at him with bright eyes and a shy smile, he was thinking about something that Dallon wouldn’t accept at all and he knew that because of his pink cheeks. 

“I was thinking that maybe,”, Dallon sighed loudly and he groaned, “maybe we could call Tyler, I mean it would be almost four hours that he’d be there.” 

“Oh hush, you just want to know if they’re making out.”, Brendon blushed and looked away, “But yeah, we can call no-”, but Brendon was already running in the living room.

Dallon followed him silently and he leaned against the door frame, he smiled sweetly when he heard Brendon’s “aw”s, he closed his eyes and he rubbed them yawning and mumbling, walking into the kitchen deciding to cook something good. He had found an old recipe of his mom’s pizza and he wanted to try it, knowing that Brendon would talked with Tyler for two hours at least. He eyed him and he saw him smiling and nodding, Dallon closed quietly the door behind him and he stared at the shelf above the hob.

He started to cook and he heard a scream from the kitchen- “ _Oh god, really? Tyboy I’m so happy!_ ”-, he rolled his eyes and he pressed the buttons of the oven, finishing to prepare the two pizzas and the condiments- one with mushrooms and one with pepperoni, double cheese and prosciutto. He sat near the oven and he stared at the glass, watching the food and paying attention to it because he didn’t want to burn it. He heard Brendon said goodbye to Tyler and the door was opened after a minute. Brendon stared at him and then at the oven, he giggled and sat down next to him asking for some food and Dallon rolled his eyes.

“What did Tyler say?”, he stood up and opened a bit the oven.

“Nothing interesting, Josh and him had talked for almost three hours and they returned friends.”, he took the plates from the shelves and he started to lay the table, “Josh asked him if he could take him home tomorrow.” 

“That’s good.”, Brendon nodded and he put a bottle of Coke on the table, “I hope they know what they’re doing. Three years without each other were enough.”, Brendon nodded again and he pressed a small kiss on his cheeks, “I mean, Josh was fucked up and Tyler too, now they’ve found each other again and I swear to God, Brendon, if you try to touch my pizza I’ll cut your hand!”, he stared at him angrily and the doctor grunted, “But yeah, I want them to be happy.”, he sat down and he looked at his plate, noticing that two mushrooms were gone, “Brendon!”, the other laughed and he cut a slice of his own pizza.

*

Josh woke up alone. Tyler had gone away after three hours and he had been almost asleep. He didn’t know how he would have react to that situation, but he was fine and Tyler seemed really sorry and he had been touching his hands for the whole time, blushing and murmuring “I’m sorry” at least twice in a quarter of hour. He was finally happy and he wanted to tell how fucking good he was feeling to the world, but he stayed in bed with a dumb smile on his face.

He watched the tree near his bedroom and he smiled, remembering when he had been in that bed for two weeks and half. He shivered and he covered himself more with the blanket, which was like his old, brown and ruined blanket. He smiled and he touched the needles in his arms, he was still hating those damn things, but Tyler had told him to not try to remove them because they were important for his health. Staring out from the window made him tired and sleepy, again, he tried for a bit to stay awake, but he fell asleep with his lips opened. 

He was so relaxed now, so calm that he slept until the next morning, snoring and moving around the bed. He was still asleep at 9 a.m. and, when Tyler entered in the room, he was mumbling and kicking the covers, squeezing the blanket making his knuckles white. Tyler shook his shoulders and Josh jumped on the bed, moaning because the needles moved in his arms; Tyler sat down on the chair and he stared at him, asking him how he was feeling. They had to wait until his doctor would came in the room, checking him and letting him free. 

“It’s your free day and you’re babysitting me. Sorry.”, Josh mumbled, looking at the shitty breakfast on the nightstand, “I should’ve asked Brendon or Dallon.”

“Don’t worry. I think we need to talk, y’know, about what we’re going to do.”

“Yeah, I guess.”, he watched Tyler and he blinked, pondering about something right to say, “So, do you know who will be Brendon’s best-man?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I don’t know who Dallon picked.”, Josh cocked an eyebrow and stared at him, smirking and giggling, “Well, at least I won’t introduce myself to his best-man.”, he laughed a bit and Josh nodded with a shy smile.

The doctor came in, Tyler went silent and he let go Josh’s hand. He watched him removing the needles and Josh flinched, looking afraid and in pain; drips were the worst thing for Josh. He stared at Tyler for the whole time, he let the doctor do the tests and the psychiatrist locked his eyes with his, trying to seem happy and calm. Josh listened to doctor’s advice and he nodded when he asked him if he had understood. 

Josh had to wait a little bit before leaving. Tyler didn’t mind and they stayed quiet until almost midday because the doctor had kept them in the room. Josh had been afraid that something had gone wrong and he had searched comfort in Tyler’s arms, letting him wrap his harm around his chest, pulling him against his own body and Josh closed his eyes, sniffing his scent and resting his chin on his left shoulder. He missed his warm and his voice, his huge smiles and his laugh. God, he missed it so much and he was drowning in it; he hoped that Tyler wouldn’t mind his silly giggling.

He stood up and he followed Tyler through the hospital, he was holding his hand with him and Tyler tangled their fingers, brushing softly his thumb on his knuckles, making Josh blush because  _no one_ had ever used that kind of sweet touch on him. He felt some tears pinched his eyes, he shook his head and he squeezed Tyler’s hand, smiling and his heart was flying.

*

Tyler had driven carefully until Josh’s flat and they chatted for the whole ride, avoiding the important questions and focalizing on the silly ones. They didn’t say anything about what they were going to do about their friendship. Tyler wanted to hug Josh tightly because, oh god, he missed his pale skin and his smile, he wanted to talk to him and tell him that he wanted to try to stay with him in  _that_ way, taking it slowly and carefully. But he stayed quiet and he listened to Josh smiling, nodding and laughing. 

He stopped in the parking lot of the building, Josh opened the door and he ran out of the car, Tyler followed him into the hall. They took the elevator until the fourth floor and Josh was silent, with his hands in his pocket and his eyes lowered; Tyler asked himself if he had done something wrong. He watched his moves and his eyes, full of concern and… fear? Tyler held his breath and he walked out of the elevator while Josh was running to his apartment, with the keys in his hands.

They entered in it and Tyler saw a black cat on the couch, Josh sat down next to it and he held it, kissing the soft fur and scratching it. Tyler asked him it’s name and Josh pushed the cat in his lap, saying that his name was Merle and he was three years old; he was talking about the kitten with so much happiness that Tyler felt his heart bump and his eyes widened. Josh placed a hand on the cat’s head and he caressed his fur, telling him that he was sorry for abandoning him for two whole days; Merle mewled and lapped his index. 

“So, I think we have to talk about… you know.”, Josh said with trembling voice, looking at Tyler gingerly. 

“Yeah, yeah I think so.”, Tyler moved closer to Josh and Merle purred in his lap loudly, “What, what you want to do about us?”, he looked at him and they locked their eyes together, “I mean, I understand if you don’t want to talk me anymore, I… y’know I was a moron and a dumbass but, but I’d like to be friends with you, and I know that… that you maybe don’t want that because I’ve left you and-”

“Can you please shut up?”, Josh snapped and he pressed his hand on his knee, leaning forward and making Tyler blush.

“I was just… just trying to talk about what happened. I was rumbling, sorry.”, Tyler placed on of hands on his arm, squeezing it and watching Josh bit his bottom lip, “What do you want to do about us?”

“I’d like to restart our friendship where we stopped it,”, Josh tried to sound sure about himself, he tried to be strong but he failed, “but I’d like to go further this time, b-but not too much, no I-I mean I want to go further even in a romantic way.”

“So you want us to be a couple?”

“Yeah, but only if you want it to, we could be just friends and I’d be perfectly fine with that.”

Tyler brain melted in that exact moment, when Josh looked at him he saw him red cheeks and watery eyes. His hands was shivering and Merle was purring in their laps because he had decided to sleep on them, spreading his little black body. Tyler smiled at the cat which purred loudly when he caressed Josh smooth cheeks, seeing his eyes became more watery and his smile was small and shy. Tyler thanked God to let them be together once more.

*

“I think we have to order the flowers.”

“Not now Bre-”

“I want blue roses and white flowers.”, Brendon giggled and pressed a dry kiss on Dallon’s forehead, “Are we sure that we want to do the ceremony in a church?”

“Brendon for fuck’s sake, I’m a Christian and yes, I want to do that in a church and no, no blue roses and no strange things like confetti on the floor.”, he hugged Brendon tightly and he closed his eyes again, “Goodnight.”

“I’m not tired.”

“You’ve drank too many coffee Beebo, just shut up and sleep.”, he rubbed his nose in his hair and pressed a soft kiss on his neck.

Brendon stayed quiet for few minutes, thinking about the wedding and about the decorations in the church. He couldn’t stay silent for too much time and he popped his lips once, twice and then four times, making Dallon grunt and sigh. He hugged Brendon tightly and he shoved his nose in the juncture of his neck with the shoulders, but the doctor rolled on his back and he watched Dallon, who had his eyes closed and his mouth opened. He peppered his face with soft kisses, tickling his neck with his hands and giggling quietly when Dallon tried to escape from his hands.

Brendon stopped his moves for thirteen minutes, but then- oh  _then_ -, when Dallon rolled on his back with a hand on his chest, he crawled towards him and he placed a wet kiss under his jaw, rubbing his nose against his cheek. Dallon murmured on his lips and he curled himself, giving his back to Brendon, who didn’t give up. He continued to kiss his back, sniffing the pale skin and touching it with his digit, Dallon shivered and pressed his head on the pillow, he arched his back trying to avoid Brendon’s touch. 

“Dall,”, he whispered in his ear, caressing his hair and kissing his soft neck, “Dall I’ve had an amazing idea.”, he bumped his nose against his cheek, “C’mon wake up, you have to know it. Dall,”, he kissed the shell of his ear and sighed against it, making Dallon shudder, “Dallon.”, he shook his shoulders and kissed his lobe, knowing that it was one of his fiancée’s sweet spot, “Dallon wake up!”, he hummed quietly with a high tone.

“What the fuck…”, Dallon sat up with widened eyes, looking confused and disoriented, “Brendon!”, he growled, dropping down on the bed with his eyes closed, “If you don’t shut up, you’ll sleep on the couch. I have to wake up at 4 a.m. so shut up for fuck’s sake.” 

“But I have a great idea for our wedding.”, he mumbled with puppy eyes, but Dallon was too tired to let him talk, so he rolled on his stomach and closed his eyes, “Dall, honey, babe, Dallon listen to me.”, he pressed a kiss on his naked shoulders, “Sweetheart, lover, Dall c’mon.”, he kissed the center of his back, “Dad-lon. Hey, can I call you Dad-”

“Oh for God’s sake Brendon!”, Dallon sat up and he took his pillow, the sheets and a blanket, he walked out of the room, leaving Brendon alone. He buried himself in the pillow and in the blanket, starting to sleep and snoring loudly. When he woke up during the night, he found Brendon pressed against his back, with their fingers tangled and the soft mattress under them.

*

Josh felt an unknown feeling in his chest, it was like fireworks and something was burning in his stomach; Max had told him that it was normal when you are with someone that you like. So he just pressed his head against Tyler’s shoulder, scratching Merle’s fur and shivering when Tyler kissed softly his forehead, asking him if it was okay and he nodded, closing his eyes and looking at the cat, which was sleeping on them. He stared at Tyler’s expression and he saw his eyes became brighter and brighter, he knew that he was happy but he was scared, so scared to lose everything again. He had trusted Tyler once and he had been left alone, he wanted to trust him again but he didn’t know how. He watched him and Tyler looked at him, he smiled and he ran a hand over his shoulders, questioning him if he was okay with that. Josh nodded and he pursed his lips.

“I can hear you think.”, Tyler said softly, rubbing his thumb on his left shoulder, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.”, Josh forced a smile and let out a sigh.

“Josh you know that you can talk to me, right?”, he nodded and looked away, “Please tell me what the problem is, maybe I can help you.”

He pressed his head on Tyler’s shoulder and he hugged him gingerly: “What if you will leave me because I’m boring?”, he closed his eyes and felt Tyler’s hot breath against his hair, “You know I… I have to take things slow and m-”

“We’ll take things slow, we’ll do what you want and when you want.”, Tyler pressed another kiss on his head and Josh shivered, but he was afraid of his touch, “No need to do everything in two hours. I’m in no rush and I think we have to recover three years.”, Josh nodded and he watched Tyler’s smile and his hands, one on his shoulder and the other in Merle’s fur. 

He wanted to kiss his jaws and his cheek but he didn’t move a finger, letting Tyler rub his fingers on his t-shirt while he was covering his hair with soft kisses and small laughs. He thought about what he had been through during his life and he didn’t feel the usual shivers of fear during his back, he was just disgusted and sad. Tyler seemed to understand his feelings and he hugged him, Merle mewled and he stretched his paws, rubbing the soft tail on Tyler’s wrist. He asked him how he was feeling and he just shrugged, leaning toward him and he hid his face in his neck, tickling it with his curls. 

“You tired?”, Josh nodded and yawned, “Do you want to go sleep while I make something to eat?”, he nodded again and he stood up, he held the cat in his arms and he walked slowly into the bedroom, leaving Tyler alone, “Sleep well.”, he said softly, seeing a small and shy smile on his face.

Tyler went into the kitchen humming a song, he opened the fridge and he looked at the food, finding a lot of leftovers which still were good. He found two slice of pizza, two portions of lasagna and other junk food. In the plastics boxes there was salad, tomatoes, onions, cucumber and sweet corn; in a glass drawer there was cheese- a lot of it. He stared at the food and he smiled, deciding to prepare a mixed salad with some grilled chicken. 

He started to prepare the salad when a hand touched his shoulders: “Ty, thank you.”, Josh murmured with a sleepy voice, making the psychiatrist blush and he squeezed gently Josh’s hands, he looked at him and he kissed his knuckles softly, smiling with his usually rosy cheeks.

*

“Okay,”, Brendon shouted holding his phone, “Dallon come closer to me, thanks babe. Tyler come here and Josh, for fuck’s sake can you stop kissing him?”, the others three mumbled and they did as he said, “Thanks, now we can do the photo.”, he passed his phone to Dallon who touched the button on the screen, capturing a perfect photo of them with the Niagara Falls behind them. 

They had planned the travel together before the wedding and Dallon had almost freaked out because  _it’s fucking Canada Bren!,_ and they had laughed and shared a tight hug. Josh was smiling and he kissed spontaneously Tyler’s cheek and then his lips, pressing two soft kisses on them; Tyler hugged him and he bumped their noses together, making him giggle. Brendon smiled at them and he stared at Dallon, they shared a small and shy kiss and they smiled at each others, tangling their fingers. 

“You two, stop it!”, Tyler said out loud, “You can make out in your damn hotel room.”, Josh shushed him and rested his chin on his shoulder.

“Let the kids being kids.”

“I’m not a kid, but Brendon yes, he is.”, Dallon said with a toothy smile.

“Hey, that’s not true.”, Dallon cocked an eyebrow, “No wait, I’m a kid, right Dad-lon?”, the nurse groaned and he looked at him angrily, stepping back and ignoring Brendon’s glance.

“Stop, we’re here to enjoy the journey,”, Josh said taking in hand Tyler and kissing his cheek, “I love you.”, he whispered in his ear, pressing his forehead on his and smiling shyly.

“Love you too.”, Tyler wrapped his arms around his shoulders and Josh didn’t flinched because they were _Tyler_ ’s arms, and he was the sweetest person in the world.

“Enough gay stuff.”

“Brendon you _are_ gay.”, Dallon shushed him and he smiled, looking at the Niagara Falls with a hand on his hips.

Josh giggled and Tyler laughed because it was the cutest sound in the world, he smiled and pressed a soft kiss on his lips, waiting for Josh to open his mouth, sliding carefully his tongue between the soft, caramel coffee-flavored lips, tasting the coffee that he had taken one hour before; the flavor was persistent and Tyler liked it. Josh smiled during the kiss and he caressed his hair, making Tyler gasp and sigh on his wet lips. He saw Dallon face and he couldn’t help his rosy cheeks.

Brendon shouted some random things and all of them laughed, Tyler hugged Josh tightly and Dallon rested his head on the top of Brendon’s. They watched the Falls and they heard the sound of them, enjoying the fresh breeze and the small drops of water, which ended on their face. Dallon was the portrait of happiness, Tyler was mesmerized by the movements of the water, Josh was pointing at the things that captured his attention and Brendon was just Brendon.

Josh looked at his friends and he smiled, he felt loved and accepted by them. He looked at Dallon, who was smiling with his sharp cheekbones; he watched Brendon hands, tangled with Dallon’s and they’re fingers were brushing their rings. He stared at Tyler, who stared back and he caressed his cheeks, whispering that he loved him and saying that he was the cause of his happiness.

*

Josh and Tyler had left Brendon and Dallon in the restaurant, saying that they wanted to go out and seeing the city during the night. Josh was mesmerized by the lights of it and the sound of the Falls relaxed him. They went back there and the water was shining under the bright light of the moon, it was a sweet view and Tyler smiled when he heard a shy “wow” from Josh. He was so happy there with all of them. 

They had been together for almost eight months and Josh had been so much better. Tyler had been feeling guilty for two months after that and Josh had tried hard to convince him that it wasn’t his fault, but Tyler had always hugged him tightly whispering that he was sorry, so sorry. Then he had realized that his behavior had made Josh sad because  _he was sad,_ and that forced Tyler to be always positive no matter what. 

They moved in a new apartment and it was near their work places. Merle was always with them and Tyler had started to talk to him like he was a baby, letting him sleep between them. They were a happy family and Josh didn’t want anything else, he was comfortable with what they had and Tyler was such a beautiful and careful boyfriend. He had been scared at first because he was feeling loved and wanted, it was new for him and he was afraid to fuck up something, but Tyler seemed to be so in love with him that he started to don’t give a flying fuck about his past. As Tyler had always said, the past was the past, he had to look for the future.

Josh laughed in his ear and he rested his head against Tyler’s shoulder, he kissed his neck and he smiled looking at the Falls. He stayed silent while Tyler was rambling about something very interesting for him, but Josh was tired and he almost fell asleep on him. Tyler shook gently his shoulders and he kissed his head, sniffing the strong scent of shampoo and burying his nose in his pink locks. Josh had dyed his hair when they moved on together, Tyler had helped him and they had fun cleaning the bathroom sink.

“Wanna come back?”,Tyler asked softly and hearing Josh yawning, “Alright, c’mon.”

They walked in silence holding their hands and smiling at each other. Josh was sleeping on his feet and Tyler laughed, opening the door of their room and staring at Josh, who collapsed on the bed with his eyes closed, snoring and grunting. He shook his head and he sat down next to him, he tried to wake him up because he was still wearing his clothes and not the pajamas; his boxers and a ruined tank top. Josh moaned when Tyler tried to wake him, he sighed and he stood up and he removed his shoes and socks, starting to undress himself and wearing a large t-shirt. 

During the night he woke up again and he found Josh curled next to him with his eyes opened, he was looking at the wall while he was caressing Tyler’s chest. He blinked several times and he hugged him and Josh snuggled in his arms closing his eyes and kissing softly Tyler’s right bicep, rubbing his nose against his shoulders and then against his neck. He pressed his head on the pillow and the forehead brushed the soft cloth of the shirt. He hummed sweetly and Tyler giggled, tangling their legs together and fusing their bodies.

“Have I ever told you today that I love?”

“Mh, no.”, Josh lied smiling and pressing his face on Tyler’s neck.

“I love you so much.”, he murmured in his hair, kissing his forehead and hearing a soft “love you too” from Josh, who was sleeping with a shy smile on his face. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, the last chapter of this work. I hope it have been good and stuff. I'm a little bit sad because ugh, what will I do now?   
> Btw, please leave a comment if you want and well, I wanna say thank to all of you because you give me the courage to post this shitty fan-fic.  
> Okay, I'm crying with Sigur Ros as soundtrack, and it's not funny.  
> Alright, see you next time!   
> If you want to send me prompts/ what you want, you can find me on:  
> Tumblr: the-motionless-protest  
> Instagram: the.motionless.protest  
> Twitter: heavydirtypen  
> Kik: heavydirtypen
> 
> See you frens!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this first chapter! The chapters will be 5 and the story is complete.
> 
> See you on Monday!
> 
> P.S. Really, you can send prompt to me I'd like to write about your ideas, plus I'm bored and I really need new topics. Kinky things are welcomed too, just saying.


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